A Meltdown over Poop

This is only ONE of the many differences between our 2 kids, but its a difference I'm struggling with a lot.  Aria has had a rough go with her tummy since 2 weeks old.  First was a battle with colic (here was the beginning) and now is a battle of constipation.

Aria has been breastfed until a week ago, when we began introducing formula 1 bottle at a time.  Her first formula bottle was 1 week ago and she spent the next day "spitting up" (I called it throwing up because it was everything she'd eaten... the nurse didn't agree since there wasn't any "wrenching").  My initial thinking was... omg, what did I do to our poor baby girl?!  But I followed the nurse's urge to continue formula and allow her little body time to adjust.  The next day, I noticed that she was only "spitting up" when she was straining to poop.  (Pooping has never been her strong suit, usually going days -a week, a couple times- between bowel movements and often times harder stools.)

After talking to the doctor and nurse on the phone a few times, we have tried: eating prunes, drinking prune juice, tummy massage, water, and bicycle legs. The catch-22 of the situation is that she doesn't poop every day, which means she doesn't have to feel miserable while pushing every day - but also I'm sure it makes it worse when she does since it's not a daily occurrence.

This morning, on the way to preschool, she began straining to poop and "spit up" clear liquid, enough to soak her shirt.  I hurried home to get her cleaned up and hopefully find a dirty diaper.  No luck.  All that pain for nothing... just a wet diaper. For the next hour, she went about her day eating and playing without any trouble.  Until she tried going again... up came most of her food, again (but this time it came out of her mouth and nose and was very thick).  She did successfully get a small nugget out, but man... this is not OK.

A serious conversation with her doctor (and the med student that always happens to be there for appointments when I don't want him to be) about her tummy troubles, and our major concern for her not growing more quickly, I left with our 12 lb 2 oz, 8 month old and headed to Walgreens to pick up Miralax and some high calorie baby food.

1 teaspoon of Mirlax into a bottle after dinner last night, a good night's sleep and a painfree poop later... she can suddenly crawl!  Imagine my surprise when I set her down on the floor this morning.  Poor girl must have been miserable!

Is she the only one with these tummy troubles?
XO!

Breastfeeding is Hard, Part 3

This post is an honest account of a new mom and breastfeeding.
If you missed Part 1 and Part 2, catch up here and here. 

It's been over a month since I posted Part 1 and Part 2 about breastfeeding.  I didn't intend to post a Part 3, but the last couple of weeks have been very hard and I realized, I am probably not the only one. So let's support each other. 

As I mentioned in Part 2, Aria is gaining weight (or I should say not gaining weight), at an incredibly slow rate.  At her 6 month check-up, she weighed 11 lbs, 10 oz.  (I was informed that if there was something smaller than 1 percentile, we'd be in that category.)  At a doctor appointment 2 weeks ago to check for ear infection because of a lot of extra crying and fussiness, she weighed 11 lbs, 10 oz.  Exactly 1 month later, she had not gained a single ounce.  

Aria nurses 5 times a day (every 3 hours, and I usually have to make her eat because she's not ready yet), and eats fruits/veggies/cereal 2 times a day.  She chows down on the solid food, eating more than a serving at each meal.  

When she nurses, it has been very frustrating.  My letdown seems to be taking longer than in the previous months, and she is not patient when there is other things she would rather be doing.  She eats for 3-4 minutes, pulls away and cries.  I switch sides and the whole process repeats.  I don't know if my milk supply is not enough for her, I don't know if she's full and telling me no more, I don't know if something else is bothering her... ugh.

I've tried all sorts of things to help the situation.  I've spent several days pumping right after she finished eating to help boost supply (I usually got 5-10 DROPS of milk...).  We've experimented with positions.  We've experimented with quiet locations.   I've tried, unsuccessfully, to get ahold of our lactation consultant for the last week.  It all sucks...

I'm ready to throw in the towel.  No more stressing out about feeding her while I'm not with her (getting a bottle takes 3-5 pumpings).  No more worrying about feeding her out and about.  No more wondering if she's getting enough.  
And I feel guilty about quitting... I don't know what to do.  

What did you do?
XO!

Breastfeeding is Hard, Part 2

This post is an honest account of a new mom and breastfeeding.
If you missed Part 1, catch up here.

There are a lot of pros to breastfeeding.  I found this link: Timeline of a Breastfed Baby which I liked referring to during my moments of doubt to remember that I am doing something wonderful for my daughter. My favorite part, especially during the first 2 months: You’ve probably heard the delicious fact that breastfeeding uses up the fat stores you laid down in pregnancy. The greatest weight loss is seen in the three to six month period (Moody et al). You’ve just hit the start of this uber fat-burning period.

Aria went through a colic period during our first 3 months together.  It was A LOT of painful crying, no pooping, and hours and hours of screaming.  Chloe did not have this, so my first thought was "it's my breast milk!" We went to the lactation consultant twice, the doctor many times, I cut things out of my diet, all in an attempt to help her.  Nothing helped.  I was ready to throw in the towel again and try formula because in exasperation  I knew she MUST be allergic to my milk.  Everyone we talked to that had any sort of authority on the subject told us to continue breastfeeding, it would only get worse with formula.  Speaking only as a mother who has gone through this, keep breastfeeding! We did give her formula a couple of times to test our hypothesis, and it made the pain and crying intensify.

Everyone's willing to talk about the pros but there are cons to breastfeeding.

• The feeling (and reality) that all you do is nurse.  It can be as often as every 2 hours. So by the time you're done feeding and changing the diaper, you have maybe 30-40 minutes before you start all over again. 
• Having a new baby is exhausting.  There are no extra long naps or sleeping through the night while someone else feeds the baby. 
• Pumping is a pain in the ***.  Getting everything out and ready, sitting there holding bottles, cleaning everything... ugh. 
• There is no sure-fire way to see how much milk your baby is getting.  Pumping gives you an idea of how much he/she may be getting but even the best pump is not as efficient as a baby's mouth.  
• There can still be times nursing hurts, even 6 months in.  Everything I read about breastfeeding has told me "If it hurts, you're doing it wrong".  I have learned through experience, even if you're doing it right, it can/will still hurt sometimes. 
• It it not always convenient to nurse.  Smashed between a car seat and booster seat with a wiggly preschooler makes it nearly impossible for a comfortable feeding for you or the babe, but it's reality. (I see nothing wrong with a mother who is nursing her baby in public, but I am not one of those people)
• The weight that you put on during pregnancy does not always melt right off if you breastfeed.  Sometimes, breastfeeding does not affect the amount of or speed that weight comes off - it takes hard work.  I did not lose the weight any faster than Chloe, and I had to work out a lot more this time.
• Every baby poops.  Breastfed babies are supposed to poop after every feeding.  That doesn't always happen and you fear that something is terrible wrong.  Breastfed babies can go a week without pooping, which is a rude awakening when they start cereal and begin going multiple times a day. (Aria pooped about once a week for the first 6 months and we were reassured every few days that she was fine for the first few months.)
• Getting on a schedule feels impossible.  Breastfeeding is an on-demand job.  You can get there, but it takes fooooorrreeevvvvveeerrrr. (And it will change every few days to a week.)
• Hugging anyone for the first month or two (or maybe three) hurts. 
• The risk of a blocked milk duct and/or mastitis. 
• The feeling of judgement if you decide to stop breastfeeding for any reason (convenience, pain, schedule, pumping, whyever).

Aria is gaining weight at a painfully slow rate, which leaves me questioning almost daily if she's getting enough to eat and should I start supplementing with formula.  I have had a blocked milk duct which is a painful reminder of the everything you've been through so far.  Aria is getting to the point of becoming easily distracted by things around her while eating so she pulls back, causing me to shriek out as she twists and bites at the same time. It's still difficult to leave her for any length of time; it takes 2-3-4 pumping sessions to get enough milk for 1 bottle.  

What I've learned through my experience so far... breastfeeding is hard.  It's not for everyone. It's OK if it's not for you. It's OK if you struggle through it.  I know I am. 

I know I'm not alone... right?

XO! 

Breastfeeding is Hard, Part 1

This post is an honest account of a new mom and breastfeeding.

When I was pregnant with Chloe, I was very unprepared for a lot.  Some of it may have had to do with the surprise of her and the denial of me throughout almost 7 months of pregnancy.  I was very on the fence about breastfeeding before her arrival (but I mostly mean I was leaning on the fence and standing on the 'no way' side).  And this is more honest that I've ever admitted out loud... I was scared the hubby (who wasn't the hubby then) wouldn't find me desirable after watching me feeding someone out of my boob. Selfish, immature, naive.  I gave it a shot though.  It wasn't a "I really want to do this and make it work" kind of shot, it was a "I don't want anyone to think I'm a bad mom if I don't do this" shot.  Selfish, immature, naive. It lasted maybe 5 days... maybe 4, and I hated it.

Becoming a stay-at-home mom with Aria meant losing an income into our family.  Formula is expensive.  I knew breastfeeding was going to be more of a necessity this time around and I had grown into mother hood enough to know that I could do this, probably.

In case you didn't know, there are not lactation consultants available to you at the hospital during Labor Day weekend.  I relied on memory of what the consultant told me with Chloe, the nurse that got stuck working on the holiday weekend who was not overly friendly/helpful, and instinct.  I was very conscious of her latch, I was generous with the Lanolin ointment and it still HURT.  Day 2-5 is by far the worse.  By day 2, I was cracked and bleeding.  It was turning into the same story as Chloe.  We went home from the hospital on Sunday, I was ready to quit Monday.  Part of my milk supply and settled into into a gland under my armpit, causing a huge, painful lump.  I was still cracked and raw, even after using Lanolin ointment after every feeding.  I was engorged.  I was done.  I had a breast pump from Chloe that was not expressing any milk and hurt equally bad as nursing.  (It got to the point where I was sitting on the toilet seat, crying, holding a bottle and hand-expressing - think similar to milking a cow - to have some relief, any relief.)

My mother-in-law is pro-breastfeeding and wanted it to work out for us this time.  On Monday, while I was nursing Aria, for what I expected to be the last time, she was driving the 40 minutes into Target to pick up a "good" pump and nipple shield.

Both of these were lifesavers.  The shield provided enough relief from the suction of Aria's mouth to allow the skin to heal, while still allowing her to receive milk. (It still hurt, but was manageable.)  I used it on the worst side for 1 full day, then every other feeding, than only if it was really sore, and by 4 days I no longer needed it.  The pump did not hurt while it was pumping (A good pump should NOT hurt!) and expressed enough milk to remove the intense pressure and give back the feeling of softness to my breast.  Between these two "tools" I successfully made it through the first week and what is deemed "the hardest part" of breastfeeding. 

That doesn't mean it got easier. 

Part 2 coming soon...

XO!

It's an Instagram Kind of Day

I take a lot of pictures on my iPhone.  Usually ones that need deleted right away because they're blurry or someone has a weird face, or whatever.  And then every once in awhile it's a good camera day.  Today is one of those... 

Do you ever have days where the pictures just come out? 

XO!

Cradle Cap Confession

Our first babe was a baldy. Well, that's not entirely true... she had a severe old man thing happening where she only had hair around the bottom 1" of her head, but it was blonde so nearly invisible. 

Our second babe was born with as much hair as Chloe acquired over the first 9 months of her life.  What a surprise when she made her entrance! (I was already in shock throughout labor because of the intensity and speed of everything, but when the doctor pulled her out, my initial thought was "Whose baby is that?" because of how different she looked that Chloe)

I used to think about how sweet it would be to have a baby with hair who could wear hair clips, or a little pigtail.  I used to!

Some things that never crossed my mind until having to deal with newborn hair

• Tangles.  Yes, at less than 1 month old, she had tangles in the back of her hair.  And when I tried to oh so gently comb them out, it pulled out her hair and I about died.
• The bald spot.  All babies get them, its just what happens.  But with a head full of dark hair, this is what stands out: 

• Cradle cap.  I'm fairly sure that almost all babies experience this as well.  Chloe had it when she was a few months old, and now Aria does. 

Dealing with cradle cap is fairly easy.  It doesn't hurt the baby at all, it's dry skin (although it looks FAR worse and makes any new mom lose their ----).  A nurse friend of my suggested rubbing a small amount of baby oil onto Chloe's head before her bath and, low and behold, it was gone after 2-3 treatments.  So when I noticed Aria's (which wasn't as obvious through her hair), I gave myself a mental thumbs-up and went to grab the baby oil and comb. 

It was not a happy ending though! It was so much worse than I could have expected.  It did it's job of loosening the dead skin, which then began to "float" around her hair for days and days, even after multiple shampooings.  Luckily her 4 month appointment was a short week away and after a quick conversation with her pediatrician I learned: Do not use baby oil and try to comb out on a baby with hair.  Her sad story ended with her own daughter losing all of her hair from being pulled out with the comb.  I was experiencing this the first day when I was attempting to pull out the dead skin with the comb - the comb with pull the flake, and with it would come the hair! I left her little head alone after hearing her personal experience but it still bothered me looking at it (I know it doesn't hurt her, but it looks like it should).  

A few days ago, we tried something different.  Head&Shoulders shampoo.  It works with flakes on adults, maybe on babies too? Totally did!  After living with huge flakes laying throughout her hair for nearly a month, no more flakes! 

Underneath, she still has cradle cap, but it makes me feel better not having the urge to pick out pieces and risk pulling out her hair.  Now I just have to force myself to be patient - it will clear up itself. 

*When using anything other than baby shampoo, be extra cautious of shampoo getting into eyes. 4 hands comes in handy when dealing with a wiggly baby and a stingy shampoo. 

How did/do you deal with cradle cap?

XO!

One Proud Momma

It seems crazy that my little sweet Aria is almost 5 months old! She is doing so much better with the colic that it's almost as if we have a different baby than we did the first couple of months. (Anyone who has been through colic and lived to tell about it deserves a medal. And a ginormous banana split).

She is a momma's girl, which I still have conflicting emotions about.  I love that she wants me and cuddles me and it's so sweet... except when it's not.  There are times I wish I could hand her off to the hubby and have a restful break in the bathtub or laying down reading a book, but that is simply not how she works.  She will not cuddle him and he gets very impatient rather quickly - which leads to me feeling anxious listening to the ordeal escalate in the other room so I cut myself short and try to remedy the problem (which in all actuality is probably making it worse, long term).

I know the shpeel about how every baby is different and reaches milestones in their own time... which I completely agree with, except when I feel like it's my baby that's behind.  Every time I start worrying about her not developing as quickly as she should, she shows me up and does 5 new things in a day!  It kills me.

I swore she was never going to be able to pick her head up during tummy time because she hated it so much and I was really bad at enforcing time everyday to it. And the next day, she is suddenly a pro...

Notice the constant state of her beautiful head of head.... we have a cockatoo! 

Then there was the rolling over milestone from back to tummy.  She had little to no interest it this for the longest time and I had all but given up hope that she would ever do it.  And again... yesterday morning she had her first solo roll over and by last night...

She was so determined to take that alien guy with her... she eventually ripped the string holding it onto the hook and successfully took it with her! 

She is one amazing little girl! 

Until next time.  XO

$2 Tutorial for Wall Art

A few months before Aria was born, we moved Chloe from her room to another room so we wouldn't have to change much for the nursery.  (It was already pick, the crib fit well along with the changing table.. ya know).  But with such an easy transition from toddler room to nursery again, all the wall art stayed the same from Chloe.  I wanted to make something specifically for Aria - I'm feeling guilty because she doesn't get a lot of her own things.. mostly hand-me-downs (clothes, toys, wall art).  After standing in her room for a few minutes to decide what the "theme" really is in there... I decided on some pretty pink butterflies for her.  

Here is the steps I took in creating this look for approximately $2! 

I had the picture frames that I picked up at the Target Dollar Spot ages ago and never really had a plan for them.  They came in a pack of 3 and they are 5x7.  I began by cutting white cardstock to fit inside the frame using the temporary picture that comes inside frames. 

If you don't have one, this grid cutter is a great asset to any crafter's home

I googled images that I wanted and converted them to a .studio file so I could cut them on my Silhouette Cameo (LOVE IT!) 

Don't mind the mat... it's well loved

I peeled the butterflies off the mat and centered them onto the cardstock and inserted them into the frame.  TIP: before putting the back of the frame on, pick it up and check the look of the picture - there's nothing more annoying than having to pull up the little metal brackets again because your image is off center. 

Because my frames were so cheap, they didn't come with a wall hanging bracket on the back so I had to do some problem solving.  I considered using the pop top trick like I did with my fabric wall art but I went with some ribbon to give it a little more "length" in the art. 

Hot glue the ribbon to the frame. 

Tie until you are satisfied with the bow and there you have it! 

I cut my ribbon a little short and was not happy with the bow I was able to produce so I tried a different approach to "fake" a bow. 

Cross the ribbons as high as you'd like the nail to hang and hot glue together.  Fold over 1 side of the ribbon, glue and fold over the other side, glue. 

To hide the fact that this bow isn't really tied, I picked out some buttons and jewels to dazzle the center of the bow.  

And there you have it.  Super cute wall art for less than $2 in materials (including frames!) The whole project took about 30 minutes with a 3 year old bugging me to help and begging for them to be in her room. 

Best of luck... XO

...Big Sigh

A quick note to let you know that SOME (big some... but I'll take any some at this point) of our sweet little one's crying has been replaced with adorable smiles and fun coos.

Responding to her silly sister's attempt at making her laugh

LOVE HER!

And with a few more smiles and few less cries... I've been able to do a few things around the house, which was in desperate need of a little attention over the last several weeks.

I will be back later this week with a few projects I've finished up.  

Until then... XO

Help me

For the last 3 weeks, we have been trying desparately to deal with a baby girl who cries in pain from what appears to be gas.  I am at my wits end after trying anything and everything we can think of to help her deal the pain. (gas drops, leg ups, warm towel on tummy, etc.). In addition to the gas, or maybe in conjunction, the little one is not having bowel movements often... As in every 5-7 days.  The doctor has told us this may just be her "normal" but the gas and crying is getting worse.

What can I do for this sweet, little, miserable girl??

Preeclampsia

How's this for a bit of drama..

Short hours after posting about my beautiful new baby, I was rushed to the ER with blood pressure of 172/100.  (as someone who has never understood how blood pressure works, I was less concerned than it seemed everyone else was at first).

So here I sit, in a hospital room again waiting for the medicine to work its magic and let me return to my family at home.

We were informed by the doctor shortly after arriving that preeclampsia is a condition many pregnant women get that involved high blood pressure but usually corrects itself after delivery.  I have to go off the charts and get it AFTER delivery with no other preexisting conditions, and frankly... They don't really have any idea why I have this.

12 hours of magnesium sulfate IV, 3 blood pressure pills and a little bit of rest later, I feel shaky with a terrible headache, stressed to the max about my girls, and more tired than I felt after our first night home with Aria.  Good note, my BP is down to 130/80... Still high for me, but I'm out of the seizure high levels for now. 

And maybe I can go home soon...ish.

Until then.. XO

It's a Girl!!

The day has finally come and gone.  We have another beautiful daughter to add to our family.  Meet Aria! 

Hours old

Packed up and ready to go home

Super proud BIG SISTER

Relaxing after a big meal

Aria was welcomed into our lives on Friday night after a very fast paced labor that left us running for the hospital, a ride in the ambulance and a painful delivery a short 1 hour 21 min after my water broke.  Whew... but she's here and she's perfect. 

XOXO